Ever made Tabouleh?

Lately I have been exploring new recipes for healthy salads, as I was really bored with the ones I usually make, so last night a couple of friends came over to dinner and I decided to make Tabouleh (Bulgur veggie salad) – a famous salad in the Middles East and it was brilliant, I even had leftover for work.
I used parsley, lots of lemons, tomatoes, mint, onions, olive oil, bulgur wheat, with salt and a dash of pepper.

I am so excited

Two weeks passed and I am sticking with the No Junk Food in the office rule, and tonight was the second night that I didn't binge in night eating, I didn't put anything in my mouth after dinner, and I feel GREAT

I know I over did it with the calories but they were all healthy choices.

Today I ate:
2 toast
1 tsp jam
1 tsp peanutbutter
5 cups of coffee (got to cut back)
apple
kiwi
fresh vegtables mix (150 cal)
greek yogurt
small grilled fish fillet
Tahini with onion with the fish
2 cups of rice (my portion was 1 cup)
2 cold cut turkey

and I have to admit that I took a bite of my girl's grilled cheese sandwish
and tasted my dinner of next day.

hip hip hurray!

Hip hip HURRAY for me, today I resisted cupcakes co-workers brought in for breakfast today, all of my favorite kinds were there, I got up, left the office, made myself a cup of coffee, went back in, opened my fruit container, and ate away my kiwi and orange, I seriously surprised myself!! I now know that if I ate one (I usually eat 3) I will get that momentary good feeling but I will feel like shit tomorrow morning for ruining the No Junk Food in the office rule…I am still binging at night but for the past 3 weeks not one single unhealthy bite in the office, my boss sent me an sms when I returned home telling me how proud she is of me and that next time she will do the same, what a good feeling. And another thing I accomplished today I actually wrote down everything that went throught my mouth today. I have been saying I want to start my food journal since 2007…here goes:

Breakfast: 1 tbsp labneh/ 2 black olives/2 small toasts/1 orange/1 kiwi/1 carrot, 2 cups of coffee with creamer
Lunch: rocca salad (tomato, mushroom, rocca, parmesan, lemon, olive oil)
Dinner: 2 stuffed rice with ground meat zucchini
Broccoli with cheese over 1/3 cup of ground meat, pepper with one slice of low fat processed cheese, 1 cup of instant mocha

Eating habits and daily routine

I weighed myself on the morning of 2011…94 kilos, how can someone gain 8 kilos in a period of 3 months!! I was devastated, ashamed, and shocked, that’s 6 kilos from reaching 100, what’s wrong with me? How the hell did I get here!!
This past week I am trying a different technique to control my unhealthy eating habits. I divided my day into 4 periods that cover my daily routine, each period has its own challenges and struggles.

Period 1: 9-2 working hours….challenge: inside office junk and lunch breaks
Period 2: 2-4 PM picking up toddler from mother in-law’s house…challenge: how to politely pass on offered food and dessert. My mother-in law’s cooking contains lots of fat and fried stuff.
Period 3: 4-5 PM picking up older daughter from daughter in-law’s house…challenge: stop opening the sweet cupboard. She is a great baker there is always fresh baked cookies, cakes and chocolates there. (if lunch smells good I also help myself with a bite or two or three!!)
Period 4: 5-10 PM spending time with girls, bedtime routine, and night binging. Challenge: healthy supper options for the girls, giving up TV and eating infront of it, preparing next day’s menu.

9-2 working hour period: my team eat all day long, we are 8 people cramped in a very small area and they are always munching something, there are salty snacks, cookies, pastry, and chocolates, and on lunch break someone would go out and bring junk food to the office for everyone.

Challenge Accomplished: I am so proud of myself this past week, I did not eat one single thing in the office, I only ate what t prepared at home, god it was hard the first couple of days, because I have spent years and years being an office junk food junkie, my menu included: broccoli, baked sweet potato, vegetables with spinach dip, sautéed mushrooms and an apple and orange daily.

How I survived?
1- Printed the below poster and hanged beside my desk, whenever someone comes over and asks me of I want to grab something to eat I say no thanks and point at the poster, by end of this week no one offered me anything.

2- Whenever they bring anything from the company’s cafeteria or buy a bag of chips or cookies I would go out of the office and hide in the bathroom until they finish.

3- I had to force myself to get out of bed at 5 to prepare my healthy snacks and have everything ready before my girls wake up.
Results: I am so proud of myself, and I have noticed that I have more energy and not as cranky as I used to be.

On Wednesday a colleague came back from his vacation and brought the below to the office (not one single bite :))

Next week’s challenge: mother-in-law food proof techniques.

Letting my self go after marriage

7 years ago, I made a promise to myself to never let go of myself after marriage, which is a promise I failed to keep after giving birth, it Is not only about the weight, or my appearance that I neglected, I let go of many things that were once very important to me. My reading, painting, playing my guitar, and writing in my journal, are all things I miss dearly and want back in my life. When I do find time for me I am usually too tired and exhausted that the only thing I end up doing is collapsing on the sofa, watching TV and stuffing my face with whatever is in front of me…after kids and if you work full time, YOU move to the bottom of the priority ladder…I hate what I have become, It is not me…I want to find that women again. In the past week I literally forced my self to do the following: buy two new books which I intend to read in 2011!! And I started taking vitamins daily which is helping my memory, giving more energy and staying focused. My emotions have always been part of why I binge, I am planning on using a different strategy in 2011, a strategy that revolves around being gentler with my self and taking care of my self in addition to my family.
I have a good feeling about 2011.

What a busy week!

The past week, things have been crazy, we are in the process of buying a new apartment, I always wanted a garden and a outside area where my girls can play, and although I like our current apartment, but the new one is bigger, it has an extra room which husband will turn into big boys hobby area (he calls it a house office!!) but he plans to get those big auto massage leather chairs, an LCD, and a play station…what I like about this new apartment is its huge land where I can plan my own vegetable and fruit garden, and my girls have a huge area to play instead of being stuck between four walls, now it will take us like 250000000 years to pay the mortgage but we do not care, this is the apartment we want to grow old in.

I did some home cooking last week, below is my spinach chicken rolls. The chicken was a bit dry but overall not bad,

Day 20: Reflecting back and looking forward

September passed, and although I wasn’t successful in losing more than 1 kilo, I have made some good changes with my daily routines, the past 3 weeks, I developed small healthy habits:

1-    Ate fruit, which I still don’t enjoy but force myself to eat them,  the past week I actually ate two servings of fruit daily

2-    I have increased my overall vegetable intake

3-    I exercised almost every day and even if it is for 15 min, the below pictures show only my treadmill routines.

October goals are:

1-    Exercise daily even if it is only 15 min

2-    Continue eating fruits daily

3-    Plan my meals for the week, and freeze them

4-    My night eating is triggered  when I sit alone at night and watch TV – Find other activities to do at night

Day 18: What am I gaining from staying fat?

I am usually successful in accomplishing whatever I set my mind to, and I give it 100% and never rest until I make it happen, but when it comes to actually losing weight and committing to a healthy lifestyle, I fail miserably! I know that the weight involves a lot of emotional issues, and it is more than just eating the wrong stuff…

There must be something I gain from staying fat? I sure hate being fat so what is it? Can’t I see what horrible things I’m doing to my body by eating all of this junk! I am steeling years of my life by choice why? What am I gaining from this?

1-      I have always loved food, staying fat will allow me to eat whatever I want whenever I want.  

2-      For some reason people are more relaxed and comfortable around me. People are not threatened.

3-      I used to get depression episodes, but lately I can not even remember the last time I got one! I am using food to make me feel better.

4-      All of my social activities revolve around food, major changes are needed to my lifestyle, am i resisting change because I like my comfort zone, it is safe.

5-      Avoiding working on my emotional issues and taking serious steps in alleviating the stress in my life.

It is obvious that I am focusing on what I will lose if I changed my lifestyle, I think It is all about bad habits, my concentration should be towards building new good habits that replace the current ones.

One good thing about my fat ass I get to sit in the front seat of any car :P

Day 17: No Weigh In today

I know I didn’t do well last week, so I am seriously not weighing myself!

Yesterday I went out with an old friend that I haven’t seen for ages and I loved the fact that we just took off from where ever we left off. No blame games, no strings attached and certainly, no annoying “where-have-you-been-all-this-time” questions.

I started fresh today, belly danced for 30 minutes and prepared my breakfast and lunch for the office.

Day 12: The Devil made me do it!

I didn’t do well the past two days, I got a cold, and I craved all kinds of comfort food (comfort food is eeeevillllll, plus I didn’t have the energy to exercise for more than 10 minutes.…I can not stop thinking about FOOD! I think of it all the time, when I am having breakfast, I think of lunch, and when I am having lunch, I wonder what’s for dinner? There is this constant conversation going on inside my head, and someone whispering in my ears like we see in cartoons and movies, the devil and angel on each shoulder, last night didn’t go as planned, and YES it is the devil’s fault, I was sick and helpless…OKAY!

The Devil: Junk food is not devil food, it will give you gratification and comfort

The Angel; you need a home-made chicken soup for your cold

The Devil: but you are too tired to cook anything now, how about having that chocolate you hide in the cupboard

The Angel: This chocolate is not what your body needs right now, a cup of green tea will make you feel much better

The Devil: It is just a KitKat!! it will not ruin your whole journey

The DAMN Devil won and I had the Kitkat, chips followed by pita with cheddar cheese, I felt so bad afterwards and checked the calories I consumed in that hour and it reached around 700 calories!!! I feel so bad!

I seriously do not know why I always think of FOOD! It is not that I am depriving my body from nutrients, I am eating more than I am supposed to, my friend says it is boredom, but I am always busy with a million thing to do, I guess it is just the opposite, I need to slow down and work on decreasing the stresses in my life, 

Goal: always always have vegetables and fruits ready to be eaten in my fridge, so that when I binge, I binge on cucumbers, apples and carrots.